Halloween Again...

Ah, another Halloween is upon us. This year is going to be perhaps the must unexciting Halloween for us. But, after last year (last year we won $2600 at the casino on Halloween) pretty much anything will be unexciting. And you know what? I'm so freaking tired today that I actually want unexciting!

Have you ever been so tired and sleep-deprived that you just feel on the verge of either tears of maniacal laughter all day long? Or, that if you were given a sobriety test, you would fail? I don't think I can even walk in a straight line right now.

Why so tired, Frecklehead, it's only Monday! Well lemme tell ya. This weekend was actually fantastic. Once we got in on Friday night and the week was FINALLY over, we were in for good. We didn't have any intention of leaving the apartment again until Monday morning. We stuck by that, but little did we know that staying IN the apartment can cause just as much stress as leaving it.

Friday night we watched "Beyond the Sea" (the movie about Bobby Darin, starring Kevin Spacey) along with the company of Maker's Mark whisky and Absolut vodka. Excellent movie with excellent performances by the actors. Saturday we stayed in and watched t.v./played Nintendo all day while the Comcast guy came in and out trying to fix our cable (still not completely fixed, by the by) and while I kicked my heels with joy at the snow falling from the sky all afternoon. That night I made a new pasta dish (with great success) and we watched Freddy vs. Jason. Stupid movie, but it's so campy you gotta love it. Sunday we woke much earlier than we wanted to, thanks to the time change. Eagles lost (I don't want to talk about it), so that sucks. But all in all, I was very relaxed by the time I went to bed...for the most part. It didn't last long.

First of all, I was upset by a phone conversation I'd had with my father earlier in the afternoon. Now, faithful readers of my blog know the issues I've had with my mother over the years. But the thing is, even though she upsets me, I'm never all that surprised by her actions. I've come to expect crazy shit to come out of her mouth from time to time. My dad is who he is....and I usually know what to expect from him, too. But once in a while he will surprise me by saying some of the most hurtful things. One of these times was when, right before we moved, we went over to his house and Michael poured out his heart and his intentions to my father. Rather than being touched by this, my dad basically said he didnt' understand why we couldnt' just go to the Justice of the Peace and get married.

Well, yesterday was the same old story. He told me on the phone that he was actually praying that "God'll convict you to just do it and do what's right." I tried to laugh it off, saying, "Well Dad we're praying in opposition because I'm praying that you'll understand that's not what I want." He then became such an asshole to me, telling me how mad it makes him that we won't just "go out and do it." Screw that! I am not kidding at all when I say that nothing would make my dad happier than if Michael and I just went out this weekend to the local JP and got married.

Does anyone think I'm crazy for having my feelings hurt by this? I mean, seriously. Not only does he want me to NOT have a wedding, but he doesn't even give a flying fuck if he's here to see it or not. So, we just get two random witnesses (probably the next couple in line) to stand there and watch while the JP marries us? Yeah, that's the romantic story I want to tell my daughter some day. His response is, "Well then you could just come back here and have a big reception and party." The thing is though, Dad, after doing that I don't see us being in all that big of a hurry to hop on a flight home to the people who couldn't even respect that we want this to be our ONLY wedding (unlike the, ahem, three that you got to participate in as the groom) and therefore want it to be something special.

It's so unfair. And you know what the really fucking sick part is? I honestly think that yes, some of it is because he wants us to "do the right thing" and get married (as opposed to living in "sin")...but the biggest part is that he doesn't want to/can't pay for a wedding for me. That day on his back porch, my stepmother told me, "We don't have the money saved up for a wedding." My head reeled at this, as I put down the brochure for the cruise they're going on in March and looked around the corner at the shiny new Ford F-150 and RV in the driveway.

Are you kidding me? I'm your only daughter, and you're basically telling me that you're so goddamn selfish that, rather than start saving up for my wedding, you'd rather chastise me, tell me to do it the quick & easy (not to mention cheap for your ass) way, and then act like a total dickhead when I don't want to.

So yes, this was bothering me last night. I'm not good at turning my brain off, especially when something my family has said or done has once again given me an ulcer and hurt my feelings terribly.

But, by the time I finally was able to relax....

The fucking fire alarm went off at 1:00am. Yup. Another false alarm. The last time, it was at 5:30 in the morning. After about 20 minutes it went off. Once we were finally able to relax from THAT, the neighbors upstairs started hopping from room to room on pogo sticks again at about 2:30am. Michael and I were both tossing and turning, till finally, he got up and went to the couch. If one of us can't sleep, usually that means we keep the other one up, so one of us will go to the couch so that we can each try to relax without the other's tossing and turning keeping us awake.

Needless to say, I got very little sleep last night, and my emotions just feel ragged. If any of the noisy little brats that live in my apartment come by trick-or-treating tonight, I'm giving them rocks.

And I"ll laugh my ass off as I sip my Cosmopolitan.

~Frecklehead

**UPDATE**

* Called the apartment about the fire alarm. Basically was told that it's "not their problem" unless it's a malfunction, in which case they'll "look into it." In the meantime, if I'm really worried about it I should "call 911." Okay bitches. I'll call 911 every. Single. Time.

* Talked to the boss about the payroll situation. Turns out that Shire (my company) is paying Staffmark (my temp agency) $22 an hour, while Staffmark is paying me much less than that. Matt has decided that, since Staffmark dropped the ball and neither a) had me sign anything nor b) gave me copies of ANY paperwork, Shire is going to try to cancel the contract and start paying me directly..and...more importantly...an amount I deserve. :-D