Dude, Go to Starbucks

I have been bombarded with instances and memories of the sheer stupidity of most of the population. The Local Nutcase has inspired me to share these stories with you all, since I myself am dealing with New Student Orientation and the aftermath of it. Ah, working behind the scenes in Academia...there's nothing quite like it...

Oh, and before some smart ass can tell me in a nasty comment, I'm well aware that my coffee shop story has nothing to do with Academia...but it has everything to do with stupid people. Now, on to the vignettes:

Vignette #1: Freshman Survey A

Question: What was UNT's reputation at your high school (choose from the following answers: Excellent, Good, OK, None, Rather Poor, or Poor)?

Student Answer: Rather Poor

Next Question: Was UNT your first choice of college, Yes or No?

Student Answer: Yes.

**Frecklehead's comments: Now of course UNT was your first choice! Why wouldn't someone want to go to a school that had a rather poor reputation???

Vignette #2: Freshman Survey B

Question: UNT's catalog is available in print and online. Did you use it? Please check all that apply: Yes, I used it in print; Yes, I used it online; No, I didn't know it was available.

Student Answer: No, I didn't know it was available.

Next Question: Was the online catalog easy to use? Easy to find?

Student Answer: Yes, and yes.

***Frecklehead's comment: Ah. So, you didnt' know it was available and, by context clues in the question that would mean you didn't use it because you didn't know it was available. Yet you also found it not only easy to use, but easy to find. How interesting...

Vignette #3: Working the Café at Borders Books & Music last year

Customer: I'd like a Mocha Frappuccino?
Frecklehead: We don't make Frappuccinos. That's a Starbucks item. But I can make you either an iced mocha or a frozen Cappuccino. However,they aren't quite the same consistency as the frappuccinos.
Customer: Well...could you make me a frappucino?
Frecklehead: Well...sort of..it's not the same though. It won't taste the same. I can make you a frozen Cappuccino. But it tastes more slushy and less like a shake.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want that.
Frecklehead: *bangs head on espresso machine* Well, then what would you like? Do you want to try the Iced Mocha instead?
Customer: I'll have...a Mocha Frappuccino.
Frecklehead: Dude...get out of my sight and go to Starbucks.

***Frecklehead's comments: See? THIS is the problem that Starbucks has created. Their coffee-monopoly has turned everyone in the world into a coffee robot. They think every place that brews coffee is a Starbucks, and therefore has all their starbucks favorites. Jesus Christ, people, has the caffeine rotted your brain past normal comprehension skills???