Pitching for the Enemy
This is bullshit. I'm pissed:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-yankees-pedro&prov=ap&type=lgns
I hate free agents. Whatever happened to dynasties, like the '92 and '93 Cowboys, and the '72 Dolphins? Teams stuck together back then. Now it's just a "go to whomever will pay you the most" attitude in the sports world, and I think that's bullshit. Fine, Pedro. Go to the Damn Yankees. Tell Derek Jeter and A-Rod "F-you" for me.
Oh my god, the phone will NOT stop ringing here at work. It's 12:30, we don't open till 1. I'm only here because I want to use the internet before the Nazis won't let me anymore during work hours. It's the only chance I'll have to blog today. Geez.
Okay on to the news and buzz for today:
Auditions for Forum
Last night was interesting. There were really not a lot of people there, which surprised me. And the people who were there weren't all that great. However, there was a LOT of energy there last night, which I know is necessary for the show. I think I had a pretty good audition. I made people laugh, so that was good. Michael however, did not do so well. Well, I take that back. I think he sounded good. Not great, but good. He's sounded better. But he's sick. I am actually at fault for 98% of what happened between us last night, and I am mature enough to realize that. I pushed him to audition, when he really just felt like staying home and getting better. Granted, he could've told me no, but then I would've just come home and said "You should've auditioned, you never know..." I should've just kept my mouth shut and let him do what he wanted.
He was very upset about how he sang, and his voice is totally shot, so his reading wasn't that great either. He had a hard time getting any variance in inflection because his voice is so shot because he's been sick. That made him even more unhappy. Add that to the fact that I had a good audition, and he basically had a really shitty night. He almost looked near tears. He really truly thinks he sucks at singing, which, anyone who has heard him would tell him is completely wrong. Add this to the fact that he is trying to make graduate school recordings right now, and he just feels like he chokes when it comes to crunch times (auditions, recordings etc).
I just cried my eyes out last night because I feel like I added to that. Then I prayed. I prayed so hard that Michael will not lose his drive and his ambition. He loves singing, and he's good at it. I know he'll get into at least one of the graduate schools he applies to, if he can just get over this hump of recording. I prayed that he will get a little bit of ego to give him an edge. He's so humble about his voice, but that is a detriment to him right now. He needs a little more cockiness to give him just a little edge. He's too good to give up. People may say he's being a "baby" or something similar, and if that's how anyone feels they can kiss my ass. Because nobody, not even his family, knows like I do what he is going through right now. He wants to make singing his career, and right now he feels like he is at a standstill, and can't even make it through a community theatre audition process. That's like wanting to be a graphic designer or web designer and no one even hiring you to be a volunteer, much less the big corporations. This situation can be applied to any field of work.
I dont' want to do the show if Michael doesn't get cast. I don't care if I piss Bill off, or hurt my chances in Denton from now on. I just don't care. I prayed also last night that either both or neither of us get cast in this show. I'm dead serious. I love performing, but I love Michael more. I wanted him to audition because I wanted to do this show together with him, for something that we could enjoy and do together. Jekyll & Hyde was a fantastic experience, but I am not willing to go through another 6-8 week rehearsal process away from him every night. I'm just not. And this isn't a decision I feel like he is pushing me to make, because he's already said he doesn't want me to not do the show, but I don't care. I would rather go home to him every night. I MISS HIM. Period. I already feel like we don't see each other enough with my two jobs and a full school schedule. My relationship is more important to me than any show. I can always find outlets to sing, like in church choirs or other venues where there is less competition.
My heart just breaks when I think about Michael giving up his dream. I will do anything in my power to make sure he is happy. I'm unhappy if he's unhappy. Not that my entire happiness depends on him, but, those of you in relationships must know what I'm talking about. The stress and tension this causes isn't worth it to me.
The thing is, he DID A GOOD JOB last night. He'll probably get called back, or at least I hope he does! But the bottom line is, I pushed him when I shouldn't have. And that's the truth. *sigh*
Anyway....on another note about the auditions. I'm very proud of Babs, she kicked some serious boo-tay last night, and she looked HOT. :) Way to go, kid, but are you ever gonna take a break from the biz? LOL
Also, I have really changed my audition behavior and, last night, I saw a bunch of girls there who were acting just like I used to. Coming both nights, sitting with all the people they know (that were also there both nights) giggling and talking, loudly, to each other; clapping and "woo hoo-ing" loudly when any of their friends sang...you know , just generally trying too hard to make themselves seen/heard. If there's one thing I've learned about auditioning lately it's that subtlety is the key. The director is going to pay attention to you in the crucial moments: when you are auditioning on the stage. When you're offstage or waiting, though, you're probably just going to annoy them if you don't shut the hell up.
I also don't think it's fair that these girls who were there Monday night got to do the dance audition again with us. They had already learned it the night before and probably practiced it at home. That was bullshit. I made sure I was in a group of newbies when I did the dance audition.
I just generally have a bad feeling about these auditions, so I don't really know what I want to happen....I just want to be happy and I want Michael to be happy. I prayed for that, too. *sigh*
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-yankees-pedro&prov=ap&type=lgns
I hate free agents. Whatever happened to dynasties, like the '92 and '93 Cowboys, and the '72 Dolphins? Teams stuck together back then. Now it's just a "go to whomever will pay you the most" attitude in the sports world, and I think that's bullshit. Fine, Pedro. Go to the Damn Yankees. Tell Derek Jeter and A-Rod "F-you" for me.
Oh my god, the phone will NOT stop ringing here at work. It's 12:30, we don't open till 1. I'm only here because I want to use the internet before the Nazis won't let me anymore during work hours. It's the only chance I'll have to blog today. Geez.
Okay on to the news and buzz for today:
Auditions for Forum
Last night was interesting. There were really not a lot of people there, which surprised me. And the people who were there weren't all that great. However, there was a LOT of energy there last night, which I know is necessary for the show. I think I had a pretty good audition. I made people laugh, so that was good. Michael however, did not do so well. Well, I take that back. I think he sounded good. Not great, but good. He's sounded better. But he's sick. I am actually at fault for 98% of what happened between us last night, and I am mature enough to realize that. I pushed him to audition, when he really just felt like staying home and getting better. Granted, he could've told me no, but then I would've just come home and said "You should've auditioned, you never know..." I should've just kept my mouth shut and let him do what he wanted.
He was very upset about how he sang, and his voice is totally shot, so his reading wasn't that great either. He had a hard time getting any variance in inflection because his voice is so shot because he's been sick. That made him even more unhappy. Add that to the fact that I had a good audition, and he basically had a really shitty night. He almost looked near tears. He really truly thinks he sucks at singing, which, anyone who has heard him would tell him is completely wrong. Add this to the fact that he is trying to make graduate school recordings right now, and he just feels like he chokes when it comes to crunch times (auditions, recordings etc).
I just cried my eyes out last night because I feel like I added to that. Then I prayed. I prayed so hard that Michael will not lose his drive and his ambition. He loves singing, and he's good at it. I know he'll get into at least one of the graduate schools he applies to, if he can just get over this hump of recording. I prayed that he will get a little bit of ego to give him an edge. He's so humble about his voice, but that is a detriment to him right now. He needs a little more cockiness to give him just a little edge. He's too good to give up. People may say he's being a "baby" or something similar, and if that's how anyone feels they can kiss my ass. Because nobody, not even his family, knows like I do what he is going through right now. He wants to make singing his career, and right now he feels like he is at a standstill, and can't even make it through a community theatre audition process. That's like wanting to be a graphic designer or web designer and no one even hiring you to be a volunteer, much less the big corporations. This situation can be applied to any field of work.
I dont' want to do the show if Michael doesn't get cast. I don't care if I piss Bill off, or hurt my chances in Denton from now on. I just don't care. I prayed also last night that either both or neither of us get cast in this show. I'm dead serious. I love performing, but I love Michael more. I wanted him to audition because I wanted to do this show together with him, for something that we could enjoy and do together. Jekyll & Hyde was a fantastic experience, but I am not willing to go through another 6-8 week rehearsal process away from him every night. I'm just not. And this isn't a decision I feel like he is pushing me to make, because he's already said he doesn't want me to not do the show, but I don't care. I would rather go home to him every night. I MISS HIM. Period. I already feel like we don't see each other enough with my two jobs and a full school schedule. My relationship is more important to me than any show. I can always find outlets to sing, like in church choirs or other venues where there is less competition.
My heart just breaks when I think about Michael giving up his dream. I will do anything in my power to make sure he is happy. I'm unhappy if he's unhappy. Not that my entire happiness depends on him, but, those of you in relationships must know what I'm talking about. The stress and tension this causes isn't worth it to me.
The thing is, he DID A GOOD JOB last night. He'll probably get called back, or at least I hope he does! But the bottom line is, I pushed him when I shouldn't have. And that's the truth. *sigh*
Anyway....on another note about the auditions. I'm very proud of Babs, she kicked some serious boo-tay last night, and she looked HOT. :) Way to go, kid, but are you ever gonna take a break from the biz? LOL
Also, I have really changed my audition behavior and, last night, I saw a bunch of girls there who were acting just like I used to. Coming both nights, sitting with all the people they know (that were also there both nights) giggling and talking, loudly, to each other; clapping and "woo hoo-ing" loudly when any of their friends sang...you know , just generally trying too hard to make themselves seen/heard. If there's one thing I've learned about auditioning lately it's that subtlety is the key. The director is going to pay attention to you in the crucial moments: when you are auditioning on the stage. When you're offstage or waiting, though, you're probably just going to annoy them if you don't shut the hell up.
I also don't think it's fair that these girls who were there Monday night got to do the dance audition again with us. They had already learned it the night before and probably practiced it at home. That was bullshit. I made sure I was in a group of newbies when I did the dance audition.
I just generally have a bad feeling about these auditions, so I don't really know what I want to happen....I just want to be happy and I want Michael to be happy. I prayed for that, too. *sigh*
posted by Sassy at 2:27 PM
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