Love love love love love.....
I have learned a lot about the whole subject of love over the past two years. I think I am a better person for it, as well. I started thinking about the whole subject of love yesterday while eating lunch with my castmate Lucy. She and her boyfriend (who is 11 years her senior) broke up, and I was trying to be the sympathetic friend, but I couldn't help remembering her telling me just a week or two ago that she slept with a friend one night after fighting with the Boyfriend. All she could do was blame him. I wanted to be her friend and take her side, but there was just this nagging little voice inside me that kept saying "Hello!!??" I really don't believe that all problems in relationships are just one-sided. Whether or not the part each plays in causing the problem is big or small, there's always some fault to be had. Maybe that's naieve to you, but I really believe that.
When my husband-to-be and I fight, even if he's being a dickhead and only playing on the computer for hours at a time, I had a fault in the situation by laying on the couch with three seasons of Sex & The City DVDS in front of me, and answering each of his statements or attempts at conversation with a very delayed.."Sorry honey, what did you say?" So, just because I've been done for two hours doesn't mean I can get mad at him for not being off the computer when I want him to be. I know that's petty, but still, I'm trying (badly) to illustrate a point.
It seems that the majority of the population involved in relationships these days do not want to take any responsibility at all when their relationships either fail or hit extremely rocky patches. That just irritates me to no end.
Love is not a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Love is a verb. Love is a conscious decision that two people make. I'm not trying to over-simplify it, I know that when you fall in love it hits you like a ton of bricks, but what I'm saying is, it goes beyond butterflies in the tummy and your arms aching to hold the one person who can look into your eyes and see their own soul reflected there. These feelings are what should drive us to love that person. Love is a committment. Love takes work. Look at pathos love within families...there's not one person who can tell me that it's always easy to love your mom, your brother, even your best friends. But you want to love them. It's the same with boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives. It's not just going to happen naturally.
Just because you fell in love with someone doesn't mean that you can just sit back and let the Love do its work for the rest of your lives together. Love requires active involvement. Love requires compromise, listening, encouragement, support....all of these are verbs. Put them into a sentence, you'll see. It isn't easy to love, but don't half-ass it. Love doesn't stand up through a half-ass involvement. Love does'nt blame. I am reminded of the passage in the Bible....it is talking about Love as being Jesus Christ. God is Love. However, this passage is read at weddings and used in marriage seminars. It tells us what love should be like, whether it be Eros, Pathos, or Jesu Cristos (bad, I know, but I was on a roll):
1 Corinthains 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or aclanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
I know I don't always follow the teachings of the Bible as perhaps I should, but I'm definitely on the same page on the whole Love thing. It's worth forgiving for, it's worth fighting for. Relationships are worth fighting for. Friendships, relationships, families. We love because we are human and without love...I don't even want to fathom it.
When my husband-to-be and I fight, even if he's being a dickhead and only playing on the computer for hours at a time, I had a fault in the situation by laying on the couch with three seasons of Sex & The City DVDS in front of me, and answering each of his statements or attempts at conversation with a very delayed.."Sorry honey, what did you say?" So, just because I've been done for two hours doesn't mean I can get mad at him for not being off the computer when I want him to be. I know that's petty, but still, I'm trying (badly) to illustrate a point.
It seems that the majority of the population involved in relationships these days do not want to take any responsibility at all when their relationships either fail or hit extremely rocky patches. That just irritates me to no end.
Love is not a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Love is a verb. Love is a conscious decision that two people make. I'm not trying to over-simplify it, I know that when you fall in love it hits you like a ton of bricks, but what I'm saying is, it goes beyond butterflies in the tummy and your arms aching to hold the one person who can look into your eyes and see their own soul reflected there. These feelings are what should drive us to love that person. Love is a committment. Love takes work. Look at pathos love within families...there's not one person who can tell me that it's always easy to love your mom, your brother, even your best friends. But you want to love them. It's the same with boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives. It's not just going to happen naturally.
Just because you fell in love with someone doesn't mean that you can just sit back and let the Love do its work for the rest of your lives together. Love requires active involvement. Love requires compromise, listening, encouragement, support....all of these are verbs. Put them into a sentence, you'll see. It isn't easy to love, but don't half-ass it. Love doesn't stand up through a half-ass involvement. Love does'nt blame. I am reminded of the passage in the Bible....it is talking about Love as being Jesus Christ. God is Love. However, this passage is read at weddings and used in marriage seminars. It tells us what love should be like, whether it be Eros, Pathos, or Jesu Cristos (bad, I know, but I was on a roll):
1 Corinthains 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or aclanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
I know I don't always follow the teachings of the Bible as perhaps I should, but I'm definitely on the same page on the whole Love thing. It's worth forgiving for, it's worth fighting for. Relationships are worth fighting for. Friendships, relationships, families. We love because we are human and without love...I don't even want to fathom it.
posted by Sassy at 4:16 PM
1 Comments:
this was a really great post...I think its thee best 1 i ever read... :)
Post a Comment
<< Home