Ahh...The Simpsons

Babs has all of her wonderfully funny Friends excerpts from time to time that just brighten my day, so I decided I'll try to cause the same good cheer by posting quotes I think are funny from shows or just random people. Today, I have found some of my favorite Simpsons moments. Enjoy:

When Sideshow Bob is in court, accused of trying to kill Bart, the lawyer says to him on the stand, But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"Sideshow Bob responds by saying, "No, That's German for, 'The Bart, The." Someone in the courtroom then whispers, "No one who speaks German could be an evil man."
Episode: Cape Feare

Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You're...selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]Apu: He's got me there.
Episode: Apu loses the Kwik-E-Mart

When Sideshow Bob is in jail, his prisoner number is: 24601.
This is also Jean Valjean's number in Les Miserables
Episode: 8F20, The Return of Sideshow Bob

Homer to Billy Corgan (of the Smashing Pumpkins): "Thanks to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not afford to give them."Corgan: "Yeah, we try to make a difference."
Episode: 3F21 Homerpalooza

Homer: [watching TV] Maggie, can you point to the monkey? [Maggie points at Homer]Pfft. What do babies know?
Lisa: Maggie, can you point to the credenza?[she does so]
Homer: D'oh!
Episode: 1F21, Lady Bouvier's Lover

Let Your Freak Flag Fly!!

I also found some very funny quotes from "blondes." These are from a very funny website:

http://www.blondesville.com

I started looking around after a certain person told me the other night at Forum auditions that the blonde hair dye in my hair has started affecting my brain. LOL Thanks a lot. :)

"Isn't it plata-ma-pus? I always thought it was plata-ma-pus."
Jessica Simpson

"I have bubbles in my tummy...It's just air. It's not stink. Promise."
Jessica Simpson

"I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
Alicia Silverstone

"I am beautiful, famous and gorgeous. I could have any man in the world."
Anna Kournikova

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
Britney Spears

"I don't judge others. I say if you feel good with what you're doing, let your freak flag fly."
Sarah Jessica Parker

"If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours." (to romance novelist 'Jackie Collins')Paris Hilton

"I don't like parties past 2 am. Then it's all losers and weirdos."
Paris Hilton

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
Christina Aguilera

"Pre-1989, I pretty much fucked everybody. I had to get breakfast somehow."
Courtney Love

"I've been fortunate, I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people"
Pamela Anderson

"(Kabbalah) helps you confront your fears. Like if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back, and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her."
Paris Hilton

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Ahhh, yes. Celebrities. Tell me again...why do we revere them? The only quote up there I like is the Sarah Jessica Parker one. Of course, I just love her anyway.

I have more to blog about later....keep checking back. :)